this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time
a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said
“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”
i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light
I want Stephen King to purchase the rights to Twilight and write a book that is the events of Twilight from Charlie Swan’s point of view where a small-town police chief is reunited with his estranged daughter and then has to slowly watch helplessly as she displays signs of being trapped in a horribly abusive relationship while her new boyfriend gives off very passively ominous veiled commentary and Charlie begins to realize that the little town and the little girl he always swore to protect are the epicenter of something far older, far bigger, and far more dangerous than he could ever have imagined
• ‘Promise’ has broken Drake’s record of most streams in 24 hours by almost 4 million streams.
• It has become the most streamed BTS song on souncloud in just four days. It has been on soundclouds front page for two days.
•The song and the records it broke was reported by 145 media outlets in total(approx).
- Three of the biggest Korean music news outlets and international media including, Rolling Stones, billboard, NME, NY times, ET and freakin Forbes.
This was his first official solo and it has already set limits that’ll be hard for anyone to break. His first solo has taken over the world, literally.
Kmedia and international media are in no mood to stop reporting about this song and the man behind it all. I’m honestly so content right now.
This, right here, is what he deserves. What he is made of. This is what happens when you don’t give a shit about the people who’re hating and trying to bring you down. This is what happens when you just focus on your work and ignore the people who are trying to undercut your success or take credit for your achievements.
He is statistically the most popular solo artist right now and not just in Korea. All this in just four damn days. You see, this is what Jimin is capable of; he’s not some damsel in distress as they portray him to be in burn the stage. He doesn’t need your praise or acceptance. He knows he’s fire and this man right here slayed the music scene in merely four days. So keep your ideas of him being weak or insecure within your head cause Park Jimin is so damn powerful that he drops free songs that break commercial music records.
• Lie has the most streams out of all solos on Spotify.
• Serendipity has the most views out of all intros.
• Promise is the most streamed BTS song on soundcloud and literally just broke a global record.
So here’s a personal request to all you Jimin antis out here;
Keep hating him, keep calling him names, please oh please keep making fun of his voice cracks and his eyes and everything you can think of. Go ahead, try and bring him down with your words and discredit him for his positions in the group. Do whatever you can to hate on him but always remember that
Karma might be a bitch but she’s a Jimin bias first. 💋
It is an unspoken rule that if a little kid is hiding under a blanket or couch cushions, you are required to comment on how lumpy the blanket is and pretend to sit on it to try and “smooth it out.”
Also, if you’re playing hide-and-seek with them, it is critical that you search every other possible (and impossible) hiding spot, all the while wondering out loud how they managed to disappear just like magic, before walking right past their hiding spot.
And if a baby starts playing peekaboo you are required to act surprised when they show their face again
If a kid hands you a phone, you answer it
If a kid shoots you with a Nerf Gun you are supposed to Die a dramatic death and explain “ugh you shot me blaahh”
when you push a kid on the swings ya gotta do the woosh
I literally just blocked about a dozen people on this post for being cranky about children.
Being a joyless shitbeast to kids isn’t cool. They’re kids. If you want to be Oscar the Grouch, that’s fine, but do it in a way they understand and explain it to them.
“I don’t want to play, I’m grumpy. Thank you, though, that was kind.”
It’s literally not hard. Kids are small people. Treat them with common fucking decency.
